The Humpty Dance

By Digital Underground, from the album Sex Packets.

Lyrics

Verse One

	All right!
	Stop whatcha doin'
	'cause I'm about to ruin
	the image and the style that ya used to.
	I look funny,
	but yo I'm makin' money, see
	so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
	Now gather round
	I'm the new fool in town
	and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
	I drink up all the Hennessy ya got on ya shelf
	so just let me introduce myself
	My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
	Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
	And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
	I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
	and just like Humpty Dumpty
	you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
	I like to rhyme,  
	I like my beats funky,
	I'm spunky.  I like my oatmeal lumpy.
	I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
	but sometimes I get ridiculous
	I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
	hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
	Yeah, I called ya fat.
	Look at me, I'm skinny
	It never stopped me from gettin' busy
	I'm a freak 
	I like the girls with the boom
	I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
	I'm crazy.
	Allow me to amaze thee.
	They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
	I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
	and I even got my own dance

Chorus

	The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump
	Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
	Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
	Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
	Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Verse Two

	People say Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'
	that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
	Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
	but ya can't get near me
	I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
	all the girls they adore me
	Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
	'cause in a 69 my Humpty nose will tickle ya rear. 
	My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
	Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
	I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
	both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
	I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
	I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
	I sang on Doowutchyalike, and if ya missed it,
	I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
	Also told ya that I like to bite
	Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
	All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance 
	and now I'm gonna do my dance.

{ Chorus }

Breakdown

	Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
	Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
	Oh, yeah!
	Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
	let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
	It's real easy to do--check it out

Verse Three

	First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
	Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
	Crazy wack funky
	People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
	That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
	It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
	Anyone can play this game
	This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
	No two people will do it the same
	Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
	Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
	jig around, shakin' ya rump,
	and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
	tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump

{ Chorus }

	Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
	White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
	Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the Hump
	Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

	Let's get stoopid!

{ Chorus }

	Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Outro

	Once again, the Underground is in the house
	I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
	keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
	and to the ladies,
	peace and Humptiness forever

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